I never dreamed anything could fit so perfectly. I put it on and admired myself in the mirror. It was a little stiff from being boxed up for so long, and it was more than a little wrinkled. But I had never in all my 15 years seen anything more beautiful in my entire life. Soft and starchy, blue and gold. It was stunning. And I felt beautiful, powerful, capable in it.
No, it wasn't my prom dress. It was something so, so, SO much more important. It was my very own FFA jacket.
It arrived just after our district speaking competition where I had delivered the FFA Creed and placed 2nd, well enough to advance to the regional competition in a few weeks. I had worn a borrowed FFA jacket for the event, as I had on a few other occasions. I was riding the high from my speaking win when we arrived back at the Cheyenne FFA ag shop to a big box.
"Ah, now you'll really be dressed for success," my ag teacher, Mr. Berry, told me as he handed me the jacket.
I couldn't wait to get home and try it on. I stood in front of the mirror in our upstairs bathroom. Slowly, carefully, I zipped it up. Tears sprang to my eyes, it felt that awesome. It was if in my 15 years on planet earth, I had been trying on and discarding self-images that didn't quite fit. Tomboy, nerd, B-team athlete, horse show girl, all of those were me but they weren't. But this, THIS felt right. Perfect. Life-changing. I was an FFA member. I was part of an organization that was half-a-million strong, united in leadership and learning about agriculture. I was growing to be a confident public speaker, learning about cattle and hogs and crops and finding my place in the world. We might bicker among us, but when the chips were down, an army of corduroy clad friends and strangers had my back, and the chapter and state embroidered on my back proved it.
FFA is first and foremost and organization dedicated to teaching it's members about agriculture, our most basic and important industry. And I learned public speaking, leadership, business skills and time management. But I also learned smaller, more important lessons along the way. Responsibility from raising animals, humility from losing in the show ring and in judging competitions, leadership from being elected to a chapter office,
I wore the stiff and new right out of that first jacket, I wore it to county fairs, camps, State Fairs, speech competitions and chapter meetings. It was on my back when I lost that next regional creed competition. Over the years, I added pins for the greenhand and chapter degree. Offices were embroidered under my name on the front, ribbons and programs and phone numbers of new friends shoved in the pockets. I wore that same jacket four years later, when I won the state Extemporaneous Public Speaking competition and was elected to a state office. And I wore it to the funeral of two of our chapter members, killed in a car accident the summer after I graduated. Within it's fabric are woven some of the best, and hardest, times of my life.
I've worn lots of different clothes since those days in the blue corduroy. Sweatshirts so soft and worn they practically lulled me to sleep; hot pink Rocky Mountain jeans that I hoped would make the boys look twice; a navy blue linen suit that landed me my first professional job; a silky white wedding dress as amazing and gorgeous as the man I married. But those moments, that jacket and all the memories I made while wearing it stick with me long after it was time to hang it up.
Twenty years later, and I still feel in my heart like...
Happy National FFA Week!
No comments:
Post a Comment