Greenery Vs. Gunpowder

There's a vase of flowers sitting on the edge of my desk. Bright, happy, sunshiny flowers that make me long for spring green-up and gurgling trout streams. I'd spent the holiday weekend packing all my worldly possessions to go to Ten Sleep and moving the rest from my house to my parents' house, where I'll be living the next few months. I kept it together right until the last load of stuff was packed in the pickup and covered with a tarp for the 350 mile trip to my future home. About halfway across town, I started to cry.

Tears, apparently, render even the toughest outdoor men helpless. Particularly Outdoor Guy, who tried to not make any sudden movements or say anything to make it worse. He sent the flowers the following morning, just to make me smile. Not only did they make me smile, they've given me great insight into the male-female dynamic, and a new way to acquire my dream shotgun.

Women walk into my office, notice the flowers and immediately ask if it's my birthday. When I say no, he sent them just because, they smile and tell me how lucky I am.

Men walk into my office, notice the flowers and ask, "What did he do?"

Men don't buy the argument that the flowers were just to make me happy. "We always have a reason," said one coworker. "Either we've made you mad and we are trying to make up for it, or we plan on making you mad and the flowers are a preemptive strike."

They muse as to what Outdoor Guy might have done, or what he's plotting that he knows I won't like. He could be planning some sort of large, expensive hunting expedition to which I'm not invited; he spent money for the honeymoon on any number of outdoor items – a boat, a gun, a gun safe, a 4-wheeler, a hunting dog, a new spotting scope; he invited his ex-girlfriend to the wedding; he invited his ex-girlfriend to be IN the wedding.

I'm sure none of those are true. Pretty sure at least.

My favorite response, however, came from a former coworker who dropped into the Game and Fish for business and stopped by my office to say hi.

"Birthday? Anniversary?" he asked.

"No. Just to cheer me up?"

"So he sent them just because? Wow, he's making the rest of us look bad," he said as he stooped to sniff the cheerful bouquet.

"Everyone else seems to think he's trying to get out of the doghouse."

"Nah," he replied. "I've seen you when you get really mad. If he'd really messed up that bad, he would have sent you a shotgun."

Flowers or firepower? It's food for thought for this outdoor girl. I better hurry up and decide. Pheasant season, I mean Valentine's day, is almost here...