Last week when browsing through the ads from the big box stores, I couldn't figure out why all of them were advertising treadmills, athletic shoes and yoga mats. It was only after passing the gym I should be frequenting did it dawn on me-- it was a New Year and that mean resolutions to get in shape. Very clever marketing, indeed. Either I'm a total slacker because I didn't bother making resolutions, or my life is so perfect, I don't really feel compelled to change.
Life is pretty great these days. But I could stand to lose some weight, exercise more, floss every day, take library books and movies back on time. I guess I'm just a slacker.
But last night, a good friend sent me an e-mail that made me stop and reconsider setting New Year's resolutions. It was a copy of my very first e-newsletter "column," where I shared my resolutions on learning more about the outdoors, or as I put it, finding my inner-outdoor woman.
"So, how'd you do?" The friend asked in the e-mail. "Think all that you've accomplished in the last two years has you ready to become Mrs. Outdoor Guy?"
His tone was teasing, but the gauntlet had been thrown. I reread my resolutions, contemplated them one by one, and gave him an honest assessment of my progress.
I will not stick my tongue out at, roll my eyes at or resort to "I know you are but what am I?" phrases when the fifth graders in my hunter safety class mock my age and incompetence.
I have to admit, I was intimidated at the thought of sitting in a hunter safety class with pre-teens who knew ten times what I did about hunting, and I worked for Game and Fish. So I took the Internet course and completed an Internet Field Day one Saturday to demonstrate safe firearm handling techniques. But I can proudly say I'm a card-carrying hunter safety graduate, and getting more confident in my shooting abilities all the time. Deer might actually begin to fear me.
I will try as hard as I possibly can to not burst into tears the first time I actually shoot a living creature. I will not tear up, gag or become squeamish in any way when dressing said creature.
I did get a little teary after shooting my first buck last November, but they were happy tears. But the experience of hunting doesn't make me sad. Actually, it's made me more aware and respectful. Usually I just mindlessly gulp down a Big Mac, never thinking about the anonymous cow that died so I could enjoy that Extra-Value meal. Its cool knowing you harvested the animal on your plate. I can't explain it.
I will not shriek when one of my guy friends throws a worm down my shirt.
I can bait my own hook. But I still make Outdoor Guy kill the spiders.
I will set aside a small portion of my paycheck each month to pay my insurance deductible so I'm covered when I hook my own ear learning to fly fish.
Two words...barbless hooks.
I will watch a hunting, fishing and outdoor show for one full minute before switching back to the Bronco game.
These days I prefer Who's Wedding is it Anyway?, but I've been converted to an outdoor TV watcher. I even slipped and called football tight-end Jeremy Shockey, Jim Shockey once.
I will learn what Cabela's Club Points are and why they are so important.
So much cool stuff, so few points on my card. I'm saving for a drift boat.
I will not forget the can opener. Again.
Can opener...check. Socks? Not so much.
I will try rabbit, quail and pheasant for dinner. I will wait at least 45 minutes before hitting the McDonald's drive-thru.
So I still haven't tried quail, but I'm game for just about anything these days, pun fully intended. I even found myself wondering what mountain lion tastes like (pork, according to those in the know). Nothing beats a big ol' juicy prime rib, but now deer and antelope are welcome staples in my diet. This summer I had my first breakfast of fried brook trout and waffles. A weird, but not entirely unpleasant, flavor combination.
And finally,
I will approach each new situation, whether hunting, fishing, camping or hiking as an opportunity to have some fun, appreciate this great state we live in and test my own limits and skills.
I can get frustrated with myself when I'm hunting, fishing or basically trying anything new. I'm competitive and a bit of a perfectionist, so it drives me absolutely crazy when I'm not good at something. I have a tendency to feel like a bit of a moron around Outdoor Guy and his crazy best friend because they make everything look so easy and I struggle with even basic outdoor skills.
When I stop to think about it, though, I can be proud of what I've accomplished and how much I've learned the last two years. I don't know that I'm a certified Outdoor Woman yet, but with patience and time, I'll accomplish that resolution eventually. Practice makes perfect, and what's more fun that practicing in a beautiful place like Wyoming, surrounded by family and amazing new friends. I'll let that be my resolution for 2009.
